My top 5 [video games] - 1. Mass Effect

Okay, so now you know what I think of Robot Unicorn Attack, I'll introduce myself properly. I'm a sucker for countdown lists, so I'm going to do a series of top fives starting with (yay!) my favourite video games.

Admittedly, I'm somewhat of a latecomer; I didn't really get into gaming until about six years ago when the husband moved in and my brother donated his PS2 to us. Also, I'm a bit of a girly girl when it comes to gaming, which means story has to come first (bonus points for well-done romance subplots), the game has to be visually appealing, the less driving the better, and big beefy guys in army gear are out of the question (sorry Gears of War/Call of Duty/Splinter Cell, it's not you, it's me).

So here are the games which, for one reason or another, put a smile on my face whenever I think of them.

1. The Mass Effect Trilogy

I say trilogy because even though ME 3 doesn't come out for another couple of years, I will most likely love it as much as I did the first two. ME1 introduced us to a seemingly Trekkian utopia set in the not-too-distant future. Humans have discovered mass relays which allow them faster-than-light travel within the galaxy. We are now newcomers amongst a host of more (and some less) advanced species. The galaxy is ruled by an alien Council who reside in the oh-so-gorgeous Citadel. Of course, things are not as perfect as they seem. A serious threat to the entire galaxy looms just across the horizon. The Council is in denial, and the only person who is willing to face the truth and save us all is the Ultimate Badass, Commander Shepard.



You play as Shepard, whose gender, appearance, and special talents are customizable (although if you're about to start a game, I strongly recommend making yours a FemShep, because she is voiced by Jennifer Hale who takes badassity to a whole new level). Your dialogue options range from kind and noble to downright nasty. As the game progresses, you recruit a team of humans and aliens while exploring a plethora of beautifully conceived worlds (they reminded me alot of the artwork featured in an old Carl Sagan book). The first time I played it, I remember being impressed by how well-written the characters were - after a couple of conversations, you get a real sense of who they are and you actually care about them. No cheesy sci-fi stereotypes (well, none that are really bad), just solid, sometimes moving backstories. And even if you choose not to romance any of your crew (and really, why wouldn't you, heh), there will still come a moment in ME1 which will leave you speechless, with your guts in a knot.



ME2 is much darker and a bit more BSG. The writing is still excellent, and alot happens in between the games, so the characters all have a bit more of an edge and a few more chips on their shoulders. Bioware definitely ramped up the Shepard-is-awesome factor, although the new characters that they introduced were a bit disappointing (*cough*JackandGrunt). Combat and graphics are much improved, and a big deal is made about a possible suicide mission at the end of the game. Personally, I think this was a bit of a gimmick, because unless you're really trying to kill yourself, it's really hard not to survive. And though I'm opposed to it in principle, I've actually really enjoyed the downloadable content as well (Kasumi love!).

My Shep and her BFF Garrus

Here are my hopes for ME3 (i.e. Dear Bioware...):

1. Please give Shepard a happy ending.
2. Please turn Garrus back into the suave, stoic Turian that he is. Let's just all agree to forget about that awful narrow-waist pick-up line.
3. Please de-Vegas-ify the Citadel!
4. More flying cars, less planet scanning.

Up next, Assassin's Creed.

Robot Unicorn Attack

There are some games which elicit a strong reaction when you first see them. Sometimes the reaction is 'whoa, that looks awesome', or 'hee, that's so cute!'. Sometimes, it is 'oh my God, I can't believe how dumb that is'.

The first time my husband showed me Burnout Revenge, I thought (and most likely said out loud), "this has got to be the most pointless game ever." You drive around crashing into other cars, trying to make as many things blow up as you can. WTF. No story, no goal, no skill, just a total waste of time. "Srsly", I said, "what are you, like 12?"

Then, I sat down and played it. And got totally addicted to it, and thought it was the MOST AWESOME GAME EVER. I mean, you drive around crashing into other cars, trying to make as many things blow up as you can! I played it for weeks. That's pretty much when I learned that there are some games which make no sense to the casual observer, but are helluva fun for whoever is actually playing them. When you're explaining the game to someone who hasn't played it, and they're shaking their head at you, all you can say is "but it's so much fun!".

Which brings me embarrassingly to my latest game-of-the-moment: Robot Unicorn Attack. It's a free, online flash game from Adult Swim which has racked up 29 million plays and 107, 000 Facebook likes to date. It's one of those neverending run-jump-and-dodge games, which I normally hate because I have a) no patience, b) no coordination, and c) no timing. But wait, you play a unicorn! A robot unicorn!

There is something comforting about the purple-candy-coloured, rainbow-strewn universe through which your unicorn prances, jumping from platform to platform and dashing through stars. Especially when Erasure plays on repeat in the background encouraging you to live in harmony, harmony oh love. You get bonus points when you dash through fairies and stars. If you fall, run into walls or fail to dash through a star, you lose a life, your robot unicorn's head falls off, and it cries unicorn tears. Your points accumulate over three lives, after which you will feel compelled to start again.

As they say, persistence is futile.

There are so many reasons this game makes me giggle. Sure, it's campy, mindless, and unexpectedly fun. It also could be the fact that I had Erasure on my playlist long before I played the game, and I'm still getting over the sheer genius of pairing them with robot unicorns.  It could be the sheer awesomeness of robot unicorns, period. It could be the fact that the all-time high score recorded on the AS website is over 201 million (how the frak...??), which means that someone, somewhere has played this game continuously for at least a couple of hours (or is a big smelly cheat. My sucky all-time high is about 55,000).

 Okay. Enough reading about the game, go chase your dreams! But not before you get in the mood...